A blog about songwriting and about the songwriter Luigi Cappel

Archive for the ‘father’ Category

Rise Up Christchurch

Today is the day of the Christchurch Rise Up Telethon and I’m wishing that I was ready to record my new version of my song The Fault Was Mine, which is about a father whose daughter is found in the Christchurch Earthquake wreckage. The first draft is here on YouTube, but I think the new rewrite is much more commercial.

Using what I learned at Berklee and with some mentoring the lyrics have been altered so that it is easier for people not close to what happened in Christchurch to understand what it is about and to relate to the situation so many people found themselves in.

My hope now is to be able to record it professionally and put together a music video, of course that means money so I need to look at how to fund it because my focus is on writing songs and what I really want is for someone else to record it. This means that I probably don’t qualify for the NZ Music On Air new funding because it is all about recording artists, not songwriters who do not want to be recording artists.

So here’s the new lyrics and hopefully I will have a new demo to share soon,

The Fault Was Mine Copyright Luigi Cappel 2011

The Policeman on the phone said come right down

To the hospital on the other side of town

I’d been awake all night consumed with fear

They’d found my daughter in Christchurch Cathedral Square

Now I’m walking and a wondering why was it you not me

I should have been protecting you, protecting you

Are you alive?

Are you hurt?

I’d do anything to turn back time.

They said it was

A new fault line

But I felt the fault was mine

I still feel the fault was mine

The trip past the earthquake rubble seemed to take years

Doctor sat me down, I listened through a haze of tears

At the hospital we did everything we can

Now its up to God we hope you understand

Now I’m walking down the corridor, why was it you not me

I should have been protecting you, protecting you

Are you alive?

Are you hurt?

I’d do anything to turn back time.

They said it was

A new fault line

But I felt the fault was mine

I still feel the fault was mine

A city’s made of bricks and mortar

They can be rebuilt but daughter

It would crush my heart to lose you now

Are you alive?

Are you hurt?

I’d do anything to turn back time.

They said it was

A new fault line

But I felt the fault was mine

I still feel the fault was mine

I still feel the fault was mine

Christchurch Cathedral

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Temporary Home Song Analysis

I’m in the process of fine tuning my new song God If You’re Listening, which is a Country Christian Christmas Song. As part of that I am analyzing Temporary Home as an example of both a hugely successful song and one that I love, written by Carrie Underwood, Zac Maloy and Luke Laird.  I want to emphasize that I have utmost respect for all of these amazing writers and that this analysis is to help me improve my craft, rather than to comment on theirs, given that they are all hit song writers and I am still working on becoming one.

At the end of this blog I have included a YouTube clip which displays the lyrics, rather than the official video, so you can see what I am referring to in my comments. You can see the official music video on my previous blog here.

So here we go. The first think I looked at was the hook, which is also the song title. It fits perfectly and is repeated twice in each chorus, so you are left in no doubt as to the point of the song. People who like the song will know the title even if they have never been told it. This is of course important for marketing if people hear it and want to buy a copy.

The theme of the song is consistent. It’s all about people who are in diffifult transitions in their lives, but accepting that better is to come, one way or another. I have read some critiques which said that the song is too simplistic, but I disagree.

I understand that Carrie knew exactly what she wanted to write about when she sat down with Zac and Luke during a 2 day writing session. They each drew from their own experiences, and songwriting teachers always say write about what you know.

There is a balance between writing a song that tells you an exact story, complete with detailed imagery, vs telling a story allowing you to insert your own imagery and imagination, being able to make it yours, based around your own experiences. Someone who listens to a song that matches their emotions and experience and has that special moment, wondering, how did the artist know that about me, is going to be a much bigger fan.

The lyric moves between the 1st and 2nd person, building a word picture then making it personal. I really like the imagery of “windows and rooms”, which is sufficient for you to fill in the gaps from your own memory or imagination, getting you involved in the story. The same with the old man. We know he’s in a hospital bed, we know he’s dying, but it is more powerful to not say it.

The only part I would change would be the beginning, with the 6 year old. The words do not belong to a 6 year old, rather to a commentator. What I’m trying to say is that a 6 year old foster child probably wouldn’t have that positive attitude unless it came from the advice of their caregiver. Like Luke Laird, I also had a time when our family hosted several foster children and they tended to arrive insecure and socially inept and certainly not thinking positively about the long term future. But then most people would not notice this and you quickly move on to the next vignettes and the old man situation which so many more of us can relate to.

The structure of the song is excellent whilst again simple. Whatever the critics say, I believe that commercially simple is best. People can learn the song quickly and sing along with it. The melodic repetition also supports this. Most won’t have Carrie’s chops but they will enjoy singing this song. The build from a boy, to his mother to the old man is linear. Carrie’s performance builds to long sustained notes with the song climaxing with the old man dying and the tension is then released in a more subdued chorus. The cadence from the 1 note to the 4 note at the end of each verse builds expectation and identifies the arrival of the chorus.

The arrangement is excellent for the song. There is a lot more in it than you will hear first time around, but ultimately this is a showcase for the power and clarity of Carrie’s awesome voice. Her phrasing makes so much impact on the song, for example “Looking for a way…………….out”. Great sustained notes and some sweet harmonies.

The backing band is tight as you would expect from Nashville, with the vocal taking centre stage, again I understand a Nashville recording prerequisite. There is some nice pedal and as I mentioned, each time you listen you will here something more, which makes it nice to come back to.

I found it interesting that the song runs for 4.29, which is long for a pop song, but probably less noticeable for a country track and one that tells a story. I would have expected a bridge chorus at the end or for the final chorus to go up a note for a final climax, but the writers kept it simple.

So what was the point of all of this?

  1. Just like an art student studies the great artists, a songwriter wanting to write hit songs, has to study hit songs.
  2. I want to write not only hit songs, but songs that tell a story, engage the listening and evoke emotions. The best way to do this is to understand the crafting of songs that I like, that do this.
  3. I am often too impulsive in writing songs, as I mentioned in my last blog. This exercise is forcing me to slow down and rethink the specific song I am currently writing, “God if You’re Listening “.

So my conclusions? I am now going to rewrite my new song again. I’m going to remove the bridge and do a 3rd verse which will be about the husband and father, thereby telling a 3rd part of the story. In my bridge I have moved from the story to a commentary and I’m thinking that this commentary should be coming from the listener, not the singer.

I have also decided, as per my previous blog, to make the performance simple, just lead vocal, guitar and bass. If I do a version with more, it will just be for fun, but I am not writing as a singer songwriter, I am writing for someone else to perform. I believe that the more elements I add, the narrower the appeal will be for someone to pick the song up.

This has been a personal exercise for me, but I hope it also gives you some ideas for your own writing. I would welcome any feedback.

New Song ‘God If You’re Listening’

So I’ve now finished the first cut of my Christmas song for 2011, which as the name of the blog suggests is called, God If You’re Listening. This started off as Santa If You’re Listening, which I wrote about in my last blog. It started as my 2nd to last Harmony assignment for the year. I finished it this morning, 1 January 2011 and recorded the first cut which you can listen to here. God if You’re Listening

I decided to change the name because God If You’re Listening is more generic and while Christmas makes the concept more poignant, and is a time that many people do lose their jobs, it could happen at any time to anyone. Most people will lose their jobs at least once in their lives and often when they least expect it.

Here are the lyrics. I hope you like it. I’ve sent the song off to someone who offered to master a song for me for free. I’ll wait a few days and see what comes back before putting it onto my favorite music sites. So you’re the first to hear the raw demo. Let me know what you think.

God If You’re Listening © Luigi Cappel 2011
Verse One
There’s a young boy on the corner sitting on a garbage can, his red rimmed eyes are looking at the sky. He says
Santa if you’re listening, can you bring my Dad a job? Since they closed the plant we’re barely getting by.
Chorus
Santa if you’re listening I sure could use some help my Mom is lying crying in her room
I don’t need no toys or such, I’ll just do my chores and please Santa can you make it happen soon.
Verse 2
In the bedroom sits his mother and she’s staring at the wall, her eyes glazed over can’t see through her tears, she says
God if you’re listening can you help my family? Our food is low and the rent is in arrears.
Chorus
God if you’re listening I sure could use some help, my husband’s tried most everywhere he can.
I don’t need no Christmas Tree or fancy clothes to wear, I just hope that you have a plan.
Bridge
The same could happen to you or me, if you see someone in misery throw them a lifeline if you can
It don’t have to be much, just a friendly hand and a loving touch can be all it takes to revive a weary soul, and she said
Chorus
God if you’re listening I sure could use some help, my husband’s tried most everywhere he can.
I don’t need no Christmas Tree or fancy clothes to wear, I just hope that you have a plan.

Weaving a story

Many people will tell you that there are 2 key ingedients in writing a great country song, the first is telling a good story and the other is roping you in so that you get emotionally involved in the story.

Today I received a ‘friend request’ on my MySpace page from Kirsty Lee Akers. Her voice sounded a little like Dolly Parton’s and that isn’t a bad thing. But this girl is from Australia and is totally her own person. She has some really good songs, covering a range of topics that show up her talents and belie her age, but one of them prompted me to stop what I was doing and really listen.

Any song that really makes you listen and can evoke emotions the way The Territory did in me, shows great talent. Kirsty Lee has a great voice, clear and crisp, but what stands out is the story which even without a great video is very moving. Another thing you should do is have your own website and hers is crisp, modern and yet you get the impression that she is sharing herself with you.

I recommend a close listen to each word for an example on how to craft a great song.

Books are full of song ideas

I don’t usually suffer for a lack of ideas to write songs about because I am always open to them. I read lots of books and always find a way to keep notes or make sure I can find my way back to lines that caught my attention.

I recently found a highlighter that also has a Post It flag dispenser in it. This means that with just the one device you can highlight your notes and put  flag on the page so you can find it again. Many of the books I read, especially non fiction, are full of Post It flags.

I also found a card of different colored Post It flags which is like a bookmark, so I often carry that with me as well, especially when I am travelling. Really handy when I’m on a plane and I’ve forgotten to take a pen out of my jacket which is now in the overhead luggage compartment and I have thewindow seat.

Something else that you need is something to take notes on, or even write lyric ideas. You need to have this anytime, anywhere. I have 2 lyric books, which are A5 (half an A4) and ringbound, so I can easily fold it around and write on both sides easily. Sometimes, such as the previous example, I don’t have quick access to it. I often carry around a blank A4 sheet of paper in my jacket as well. If neither of those work, I use anything and a common one for me is the back of a business card. It’s amazing how much you can fit on one of those if you are desperate.

Sometimes you are in a position where you have to memorise what you have written, such as when you are in the shower.  Then I go back to the rote memorisation I learned at school, just repeating it over and over again and hope that I don’t get distracted by anything or anyone before I can get pen to paper. That’s what I did with my new song that I am still writing, ‘When Madison Smiles’, but now I’m digressing.

Basically what I wanted to share is that the books you read are full of ideas that you can write songs about. The key to me is a subject that touches you strongly, or that you have a strong opinion about. Good songs are written with passion and from the heart. If you keep that in mind when you are reading, writers block should not be an issue. Of course if you don’t read books, magazines and newspapers are also great building materials to grow ideas from.

The most importand things are:

  1. Be open for new ideas all the time
  2. Have a way to highlight or find the idea again later when you need it
  3. Keep paper or books and a pen or pencil handy at all times, even when you are in bed asleep, especially when you are in bed asleep and this is often when you are most creative.
  4. If you are really organised, find a way to catagorise the texts you have highlighted. Coloured tags could be a way to do that. Most songwriters though don’t tend to be that well organised in my experience, but you should consider whether you are writing for fun or as a hobby or as a mental health tool, or whether it is a business or career, If it is the latter then you should treat it the same way as you do a job. If you are doing a job, of course you have the right tools on hand.
  5. Finally, if you do become successful and maybe even famous, the paper you originally scribbled your lyrics on could become very valuable, as collectors items although not necessarily to you personally, but perhaps your children or other important people in the future. For example someone made 1,000 prints of the John Lennon song ‘Little Flower Princess’ from his original writing and is selling them for $150 EACH at eBay right now!

MySpace and YouTube as a promotional tool

This may be old hat to you, but I’ve just started trying something new to me. I have a couple of videos on MySpace, which are basically slide shows of 2 of my songs, Only Memories Survive and Watch Me Daddy.

I’m trying to promote W atch Me Daddy because I want a great singer to pick the song up and I am also trying to market it as a song that I will edit (commercially of course, I am trying to forge a career as a songwriter) and turn into a new son that someone can give to my daughter. Wouldn’t you love your daughter to have her very own song?

Anyway, what I have started doing is when someone sends me a friend request, having listened to their songs and left a comment, I embed the song into my comment so they can watch the video and listen to it without having to go to my MySpace Page, where they can also of course watch it.

I’m doing the same when I leave a comment for an artist who I think will like the song. It’s not technical. All you need to do is go to your video on YouTube and copy the ’embed code’ which you paste into the comment.

Something else I have started doing is including a photo, like this one, into my MySpace comments. You will have seen that there is now an Add Photo command when you put comments onto someone’s page. It is a little confusing because you follow the instructions, click on the photo you want, but it is not obvious what to do next. All you do is click on the x to close the page and the photo is magically there.

Me, jammimg in Jamaica

Me, jammimg in Jamaica

Now if only they would fix the counter on my page. Last week MySpace changed the default music player. At first I had almost a thousand listens on my page and knew that was wrong, so I got them to fix it. But now it has stayed at zero for a couple of days and I know that is wrong too. Hopefully they will get it right soon.

Tube Mogul Promote Your Music Video

I only have a couple of video’s at the moment and video is really stretching it a little because they are my songs played to a photo slideshow. You can find them by searching for me on YouTube or going to my MySpace page.

Only Memories Survive was my first. Both of these were done by my friend Noel Schlachter. If you get him to do one for you, tell him that I referred you. I don’t get anything for that, I just like it when people know that I have recommended them:)

The other song video, which you can find here, was Watch Me Daddy.

I hope to do my first real music video this summer, for my song Muriwai Beach, which you can hear on my Music Forte page.I’m just waiting to get my broken wrist back in shape.

Anyway, whatever your music video is, I recommend checking out Tube Mogul. I haven’t actually used it properly yet, because I don’t have accounts with many of the sites that it supports and the ones where I do, I have already posted my videos.

The concept is that they post your video to a huge list of websites, so that your music will get heard, which is awesome, but there is a lot of time involved. In order to post it on all those sites, you need to have an account with them. If you are going to have an account with them, it will mean completing all the forms, creating bio’s and all the other things you need to do, but then if you want to get heard, you have to do something.

So this gives you a list of all the places you can post your video’s, but it does much more than that. It allows you to go to one place for reports on how many times they have been played on each site and lots more.

I’ve decided I really like this site. I’m going to stop blogging and get into it. You should too:)

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